In late 2013, I opened up a blank document on my laptop, and I started typing. I didn’t really have a plan to write anything in particular, I just let the words come; spilling onto the page. After I felt ‘finished’, I hit ‘publish’ on a blog that I hadn’t yet started… this was my first post.
I had this long held desire to write and speak, about things close to my heart; things I was experiencing and things that I was learning.
I kept blogging for some time afterwards; I had spelling errors, grammatical mistakes and I’m pretty sure I made some Marther Stewart references incorrectly; without knowing she had done jail time.
My writing was far from perfect, but it was honest. The more I wrote on what I was learning in my life, the deeper I understood the lessons. Sometimes, my writing was inspiring and positive; other times I wrote about the muddy bits of life that we all hate to talk about and admit to going through.
I’m not here to do anything other than communicate; I love to talk and I love to write, it’s how I process things and it’s how I understand my own experiences. It's also how I get the see the whole picture of myself.
Through my experiences and my writing, I have been able to witness how complex and delicate we are as human beings. There isn’t one characteristic that defines us; in fact, it’s the multitude of things we can simultaneously embody that makes us so amazing.
We are lots of things, many times, all at once.
I know that I am thoughtful, compassionate and funny; but I am also an ex-people pleaser and put way too much pressure on myself.
I have a tendency to get insecure, I'm good at time management yet always seem to end up rushing and I have spectacular standards for myself that are impossible to live up to.
I’m a 90’s music lover.
I think toilet humour is hilarious.
I cried when the Spice Girls split up in 1998.
I got tickets to the Spice Girls reunion tour in 2008, and then they cancelled it on me. I cried again.
Qantas ads make me emotional.
I don't like the dark.
I compare myself to others more often than I'd like to admit and I'm a bit of a (serious) perfectionist but I'm learning to chill the hell out on myself.
Occasionally, I let my to do list have a little too much power over me and I wish I had more amazing hair days.
I can get anxious and a little obsessive over things when I'm stressed and I have a condition that has a name I can’t even spell; Trichollomania. (It’s right, I Googled it.) It is something that sees me pulling my hair out compulsively; mainly from my eyebrows and eyelashes. I didn’t even know it was a thing; but upon some research a few years ago, it seems, it actually is.
The beauty in all of these aspects of myself, is that they're real; and one side of me couldn’t exist without the other. The part of me that I’m happy to share with people, is made richer by the part that I experience when I’m by myself.
That’s the part of me, and of you, we need to celebrate.
The real, the raw and the sometimes not so pretty; not just the side we are happy for people to 'like' on social media.
I want us to be real about our lives, openly talk about it and to make peace with exactly where we are; knowing that other people are there too.
We all want to feel good, but often we feel a bit lost and we question ourselves.
We feel like we don’t have it all together, but dare not to speak out aloud about it.
We seek to find more; to feel more and to be moved by our lives.
I am inspired to talk about what we all face on a day to day basis; the life that isn’t up in lights on social media and the parts of ourselves that we might rather leave hidden.
I want us to be inspired, you and I. I want to open up a curiosity in you that encourages questions. I want to move you and I want you to know that, we deal with the same stuff.