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We're never without our loved ones; even if they've passed away, lost contact with them or let them go. Here's how.


We're never without our loved ones; even if they've passed away, lost contact with them or let them go. Here's how.

Penny Younger

Earlier this year, I let go of a friendship. One I tried desperately to keep, one that felt like my right arm; an extension of myself.

Reflecting back on the recent past, I realise one thing I’ve learnt is that when the universe has a plan, you can try to fight it, resist it or adjust it – but in the end, life flows the way it needs to.

You just need to recognise when you’re swimming against the tide.

In this case, with regards to the friendship, it took me a while to tire. But eventually, I decided to surrender. And as I did, the tide changed and I wasn’t swimming against it anymore – and the friendship was removed from my life, in quite a “thank you for finally cooperating, Penny” way.

For a while, I didn’t think of it much.

It was what it was.

But now, after a little time and distance, I miss her.

Thing is, not one molecule of my being tells me to reach out to her. It just tells me to sit with it and that this is that way it needs to be, for both of us.

She is on her journey and I am on mine and for now they aren’t supposed to intersect. So now, I sit with it. I miss her. I wonder what her world looks like today and I wish I could tell her about mine.

Memories we’ve made are all around me right now it seems and in a way, I find comfort in that. This is the part of her I get to keep and the part that reminds me she isn’t really gone.

No one is.

Whether it’s a mother who has passed away, a high school friend you’ve drifted from or a first love, they’re here, right now.

The memories we hold and the lessons they taught us are their legacy to us. You don’t have to pass away to leave a legacy. We are constantly walking in and out of each other’s lives and leaving little legacy’s.

That “feeling” of them in our lives after they’ve served their purpose in it, is their essence.

And we get to keep that.

It’s ours and it’s always there.

We are always with one another, we are all connected and there are no accidents.

An energy healer once asked me about a year after breaking up with my first love if I ever felt him with me. I instantly said yes. At the time, I felt him around me, all of the time. She smiled, and said “that’s because he is with you.”

The thing with life is that there is such a natural order to things.

The sun rises, the sun sets.

The tide comes in and it goes out.

We live, we die.

We walk in and out of each other’s lives at just the moments we are meant to, and after our paths separate from one another, there is peace, because we have come full circle within that relationship.

After that, all there is to do, is to hold onto the beautiful moments that were shared together, to smile at the laughter, to giggle at the inside jokes, reflect on the lessons that were learnt – and to hold in your heart gratitude for the impact the relationship had on your life.

You’re supposed to keep moving on through this world, you’re not supposed to stop. You’re supposed to keep looking for more beautiful moments to create with more people, knowing you’ve been blessed before – and you’ll be blessed again.

When the universe removes someone from our lives, it creates space; space for growth, space for evolution and space for more beauty to flow into our lives.

And that’s what life is – riding the wave, swimming with the tide and recognising that we are being guided.

So here’s to those who have touched our lives and taught us lessons, for our world wouldn’t look the same if they’d not been in it – and that in itself, is the blessing.