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Why it’s okay to stop seeing your best friend every Tuesday night for Tacos.

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Why it’s okay to stop seeing your best friend every Tuesday night for Tacos.

Penny Younger

It’s so fascinating to me how synchronised life is; always.

People cross our paths at just the time they need to, sometimes we are appreciative of this, and other times it might feel like “Why?! Why did you come?”

If it feels like the latter, always remember that everything happens for a reason, and there are no accidents.

People are sent to you for your highest good.

I’m going through a situation right now where I am being challenged.

Someone in my life is trying to get me caught up in their games, trying to make me feel inadequate and projecting their stuff onto me.

I don’t like this scenario, but it’s obviously just meant to be this way, because it’s reminding me of a few things I seemed to have forgotten until now.

I’m being reminded what it is to step up, to own my truth and to become self-reliant in remembering who I am and what I stand for.

I’m also reminded how to shine my light brightly in front of people who don’t necessarily want to see it.

There is a lesson for the other party too, whatever it is for them I am not sure, but there always is.

We both have things to learn, and the universe assigned us as teachers for one another; and like it or not, I’m attending the class.

It’s very easy to curse the ones that come into our lives and make a mess of it; the ones who push our buttons, and make us crazy, but they, just like the people who bring love and ease into our lives, belong just where they are.

They belong in our lives because there are things to be learnt from them.

I used to resist challenges, and be scared of those who had a stronger presence than I did, or those who make it their life mission to intimidate others.

It made me feel small, like I was back in primary school.

But now, I embrace it.

Because challenges equals growth.

I am learning to not cover my eyes and ears when people like this come into my space, instead I take a breath (sometimes whilst having a quiet word to the universe like “Um, seriously?”) and then I welcome whatever they have to offer.

If they bring negativity, maybe it’s a gentle reminder to actively seek out the positive.

If it’s jealousy they portray, then maybe it’s a reminder to be loving and non judgmental towards them; easier said than done, I know.

Or if they are attacking you as a person, maybe it’s a lesson to keep coming back to your heart and keep shining that candle of yours, even when – especially when – someone is trying to blow it out.

This has also been a great time of realising that I don’t need to keep everyone in my inner circle just because that’s where they are currently.

You’re allowed to move people around, you’re allowed to lovingly remove someone from your inner circle if they aren’t showing you the love you deserve.

If you’re like me, a recovering ‘people pleaser,’ once you realise you have total control over who and what you allow into your life, a whole new level of freedom and liberation follows.

For the first time, I think ever, I am learning to lovingly put up boundaries for myself and that the world won’t end if I refuse to put up with other people’s nonsense.

In fact, the world gets brighter.

You are allowed to set boundaries for yourself.

You are allowed to dictate who you keep in your inner circle.

You are allowed to stand up for yourself in a way that is peaceful and respectful.

You are also allowed to disengage completely and not feel guilty about that.

It doesn’t have to involve the F word, although granted, I’m sure sometimes we all would LOVE it too.

I invite you to take stock of the people in your life, particularly the ones that challenge you, and really acknowledge what they’ve allowed you to learn, or to practice, or to strengthen.

And then give thanks for them, but also know that you get to choose where you put them in your life.

But none the less, be grateful; without the lows we wouldn’t know the highs and without the challenges we wouldn’t appreciate flow.

These people, and the challenges they bring us, allow us to appreciate what and who we want in our lives, because they highlight what we don’t want.

They allow us to reflect and to remember who we are and what we’re really about.

These people and the challenges, make the world go round.

Hold gratitude for them, because once you begin to give thanks for the challenge, it will always turn into a blessing.

Experiencing what we don’t want, allows us to clearly see what we do.