In following up from my last post; I want to share some more insights I’ve had, some that have actually provided me with clarity and ease.
I hope this will also help you, if you’re going through a similar thing.
I was listening to Avacii’s “Wake Me Up” on the radio the other night, and in the song, two sisters talk to each other at the beginning.
The big sister says to the young one “Come on, let's go.”
“Where are we going?” Asks the little sister.
“Somewhere we belong,” she answered.
This got me thinking.
Where do I belong?
Actually maybe not so much where, but with whom?
When we have people in our lives who are rejecting us or making it hard, sometimes we have the tendency to want to impress these people, or make friends, so the difficult interaction will just go away.
This is definitely how I’ve felt in the past, I wanted these people to like me, to just be my friends, so I could have some peace and quiet; and also because it’s never a nice feeling when someone doesn’t like you.
So this song got me thinking about the people I belong with.
And this is what I wrote in my journal when pondering on this:
I belong with people who love me. I am worthy of that. People who are fun and light and loving and gracious and forgiving; gentle, inspiring, loyal and appreciative of my presence.
I belong there.
I belong in the light.
I belong where the wild things are, where there is wild laughter, where the gratitude is wild, and packed full of consciousness, grace, joy, fun, ease, gentleness and of course, love.
With anything else – anything less – that’s where I don’t belong.
That’s just the way it is.
This makes me think of the challenging situation in my life that I wrote about last week; the person projecting their stuff onto me.
I don’t belong there, but in saying that I don’t want to belong there.
It’s just not where I’m meant to feel at home. So why even try.
It is what it is.
I’ve decided that when I’m around these sorts of people, I will genuinely act in love.
I will smile and enjoy my time spent in their presence when it can’t be avoided but – and here is the important part – I will not invest my energy there.
I will accept that it’s just not where I belong,
But I will show love.
Not because I’m weak, but because I’m strong.
And I will be so grateful that I belong elsewhere.
I will not ‘try’ to be anything I’m not around them and I won’t place any expectations on how I think they should act.
That’s their choice; and mine is to no longer give away my energy to them.
I will instead, put my energy in being grateful for my people; my belonging.
When I’m prompted to, I will always speak lovingly about them, however unless I’m prompted to discuss it , I will not even think of it.
Because I don’t need to.
I choose peace, and to be content with the fact that ‘it is what it is.’
My time and energy is solely devoted to where I do belong; to my people, and to the mountain of love and support and joy I feel when I am with them.
I wrote this in my journal not long after I wrote the last post, and I wanted to share it because it’s put this whole situation – difficulties with people in our lives – in a totally new light for me.
I’m so relieved to realise that I don’t even belong in the place I’m being ‘rejected’ from. Thank God.
What an empowering thought, because it has allowed me to detach myself from it, and it’s given me a whole new appreciation for the people I do belong with.
It has also stopped me pushing; trying to fit into a mold I’m not meant to fit.
There is so much joy and sisterhood and unconditional love in the place I do belong; yet I never appreciated that enough because so much of my energy was going towards the negative in my life. My energy was being directed to thoughts like ‘Why on God’s green earth does this person not like me? Why must it be so difficult with them?’
I’ve dropped that now, 100%.
In place of that, has now come this awesome feeling of ‘forget where I don’t belong, how freaking amazing is that place that I do?!’
I love my people, there is a common theme with them; they are light, whereas the people I don’t belong with feel heavy.
This is how you can tell is a friendship is serving you or not; is it light, or is it heavy?
Start to see the difficult people in your life in a new way.
Instead of investing energy into trying to fix the situation, or trying to make it better – simply accept it for what it is.
Send them love whenever you catch yourself thinking about them; because they are deserving of love, but know that there is no need to invest energy there.
There is a big difference.
Instead, devote all of your energy into appreciating the tribe of support you are already apart of.
Wherever this appreciation takes you, is where you belong.
Your job is to simply stay there, and celebrate life from that space.